The Idiocy of Coveting thy Neighbors McMansion

Aloha Readers, It has been awhile since I posted. My muses seem to have gone holo holo these days, or maybe I'm channeling too much creative energy into video editing for N-2 Dance.

I was struck pretty hard by this recent letter to Dear Abby in the newspaper last week. The one lazy muse that never leaves my shoulder has been riding my butt to get this response out of my brain and onto the keyboard for a national audience. We will see if Dearest Abby uses it.
The reason it struck me so hard is that I too, grapple with the same issues as this person. I, too, am a victim of this materialistic culture that constantly bombards us from every angle with our material failures as human beings.

We desperately need a new American Dream in this country. I have already addressed this in the piece about Bhutan, but I am finding that maybe, just maybe the Universe wants me to stay on this one and try to masterblast this thing out of our collective souls forever.
So, first is the first letter to "DearAbby" that got me and the lazy muses fired up enough to get off the other distractions and hit these keys to try to tap out something inspirational that is so in dire need of a thorough review.


http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20090528

WIFE FRETS HER HOUSE DOESN'T MEASURE UP IN TONY SUBURB

DEAR ABBY: My husband is threatening to leave and my 9-year-old daughter is distraught because I am embarrassed about our home and our cars. We live in an affluent suburb, but we're not one of the rich families. My daughter wants to invite friends from school over, but I'm mortified about their parents seeing our home or cars.

I know these things shouldn't matter. I love my husband, but he says I'm ruining our daughter's self-esteem and disrespecting him by being embarrassed by a life he works hard to provide. What's wrong with me, and how can I get past this? I don't want to lose my family. -- EMBARRASSED IN OHIO

DEAR EMBARRASSED: What makes a home warm and welcoming isn't whether it has been professionally decorated. Your problem isn't that you're ashamed of your house or cars. It's that you lack confidence in who you are. Your feelings stem less from what material things you lack than misplaced priorities.

When your daughter's friends visit, cookies in the oven, a welcoming smile and a willing ear if one of them needs a trusted adult in whom to confide will be more appreciated than whether your couch is new or there's a late-model car in the driveway. Many children from families who supposedly "have everything" are starved for plain old-fashioned personal attention.

I often recommend psychological counseling, but in your case, perhaps you would be better served by talking to a spiritual adviser about the difficulty you're having with appreciating how much you have for which to be thankful.


Dear Abby,

Embarrassed in Ohio hit just hit millions of similar anguished American souls right between our clueless collective semi-consciousness . She asks what is wrong with her about being so ashamed of her humble lifestyle in the midst of her affluent “Hood”. This is what it has come down to in this horribly materialistic centered, joke of a misplaced, highly toxic value sytem called the “American Dream.”

Americans along with the rest of the industrialized nations seem to be witless consumers in a Madison Avenue-Wall Street fueled culture that constantly bombards us from every media venue with images that constantly deepen the pit of despair for not living up to these stylized material ideals. “It” zaps my creativity and spirit. I do my best to keep “It” away by getting in its face and analyzing it. I am thankful for what I do have, (until I look at the mismatched tiles on the kitchen floor) but then I turn on the TV or go on Facebook/Twitter and get blasted with the daily 160 character tweets and 2 megapixel cell phone images of what my friends have, and I don’t have. Then like some insidious monster, “It” sneaks back into my psyche and sticks its tongue out at me when I see the pix of the remodeled guest bath, the polished oak flooring and freshly purchased Lexus in the driveway. I wish it could make “It” go away as I gather up all my determination to drive this Envy beast away for good. But when it is so deeply mired in the collective conscious, its like trying to paddle out to surf just as the approaching tsunami has sucked out the tide.

The greed and desire festering in our souls over unobtainable and unaffordable lifestyles has trashed our national spirit in so many ways. Because of this, icons of hundred year old industrial superiority continue to implode before our eyes much like the towers of the World Trade Center. (Wasn't that a portent of things to come?) The ridiculous notion that everyone can achieve home ownership by signing the dotted line below all that cryptic, fine print, document legalese from The Pick-a-Payment Option-Arm Mortgage Company has led us to epic ruin that could lead to a period of economic malaise that few are prepared to cope with. Forcibly downsized, living out of storage facilities and SUV’s wondering where the wrong turn was in that acquisition of that hotly coveted 5000 plus square foot McMansion and all its attendant accoutrements, millions of Americans are now learning in a big way, that going into debt to have stuff does not make one wealthy.

Why is it that a family of four, in third world type countries such as Viet Nam, India, Bhutan, or Costa Rica, can sustain themselves daily, on what we spend for a cup of mocha latte? And is it true they are content and even happy? How can that be? These folks would truly feel like rock stars living in the most modest house that we privileged folks would turn our thumbs down and point our snobby noses up at. All this quest for more, bigger and better has brought us nothing but national disgrace and a rapid descent down the emotional escalator. We don’t realize it, but the rest of the world laughs at our misguided value system and believes we are now reaping our just rewards for decades of American Dreaming.

The Old Testament is loaded with verses about the folly of coveting and debt slavery. In fact there is a pretty monumental set of rules for humanity that cover a broad spectrum of issues. Its the ones that the Big Guy text messaged on to those granite slabs and then Moses carried them down to the Israelites all fried face and blissed out. THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, anyone? Yeah, those things. One of those messages seems to have gotten pretty obscured, or maybe it just got swept under the rug of old fartism. Who knows.

So, kids, its that one about NOT desiring thy neighbor’s (trophy) wife, his house and all the rest of his stuff including his ox (F-350 with extended cab and bedliner), ass (Cadillac Escalade), fields (10 acre suburban estate with heated olympic pool and two guest houses), butler and maid, and all the other nifty "must-haves" like surround sound home theater system, designer apparel, blingy accessories, Coach Bags, SubZero appliances, and the whole gift wrapped box of Neiman Marcus gourmet truffles. Yes, its all right there in Deut. Ch 5 verse 2. Check it out all of you who wallow in the constant, drug fogged misery from that nagging, chronic, pain of not "having it all".
Perhaps, the Big Guy or Gal, in his/her infinite wisdom, knew where all this coveting would lead mankind. It has become a huge big deal, when one stops to think of where coveting leads the human being. The catastrophic failure in every facet of our existance and society, and worst of all, the bankruptcy of our spirits, is becoming a spectacle that few can ignore these days.

Have we ever examined the lives of those who do "Have it All?" Are they really happier than all of those masses of the Great Unwashed Trailer park Trash ? If that “Embarrassed" chick in Ohio could morph into a microchip fly-on-the-wall she might see another version of misery and despair, perhaps much greater than her own. (Remember, another saying in the Good Book? The one that says, "its easier for an elephant to pass through an eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to have heavenly grace" or something to that effect.) So, Embarrassed attaches herself to Mr. and Mrs. Hasitall's wall and becomes a witness to "Les Vida tres Fabulousse". She flies through the cracks of those sparkling double-hung French crystal windows. First thing that catches her bug-eye is the multiple stacks of unpaid credit card bills, HELOC loans, auto loan repo notices, and...gasp... the dreaded NOD statement (notice of default) for the lavish, well appointed 6 bedroom, 5 bath home on the perfectly manicured lushly landscaped estate.

Next, she would fly into the master bathroom and wing her way into the medicine cabinet, fully stocked with antidepressants, anti-anxiety, sleep aids, pain relievers and muscle relaxers. She might even wonder if the pills were the reason for the mounting stacks of bills and overdue balance notices. And...now she begins to understand the reason for Mrs. Hasitall's slurred speech unsteady stride, and lack of focus when she tries to engage in conversations with her.

At the evening dinner table, (that's if they even dine together) the little microchip fly might witness the nightly ongoing battle between Mr. and Mrs. Hasitall and hear the accusations of marital infidelity and secret Cayman Islands bank accounts. Upstairs, she might see Muffy and Parker Hasitall in their bedrooms, hunched over their Macbooks, eating a five course Whole Foods takeout meal, purposefully avoiding the nightly dinner time dramas taking place downstairs. She would see their tear stained, French hand-plucked down pillows and feel their grinding despair over how utterly neglected and unwanted they feel amidst the bedrooms filled with all the state of the art gadgets kids in that socio-economic bracket typically take for granted. All of those things only serve to increase their misery, with each acquisition, the unhappiness dial gets turned up another notch. The expensive toys are a constant reminder of parents who keep the lights on but are never "HOME".

I hope “Embarrassed” bitchslaps herself real hard, and comes to her senses before she loses the treasures she does have with her wonderful, sensible, hard working husband and precious child. She needs to hold her head up, be proud that she is living within her means and may actually have a net worth far more than her debt laden, pharmaceutical influenced neighbors.

Not even the wealthiest are immune to this coveting thingy, you know. After all, it was none other than Jacquelyn Bouvier Kennedy Onassis's sister, Lee, who originated the universal Socialite Code of acceptable wannabe-ism, the golden adage , really, when she declared "that one could never be too rich or too thin." While "Embarrassed" is beating herself silly, because her house is not up to the standards of "the rich families", the Rich Family is slugging it out over their own inadequate structures!

Our constitution does state that we as Americans, have “The Right to Pursue Happiness. ” Is there anyone in this country that even knows what this means? Does happiness come in a 7500 square foot Architecturally designed, granite hewn, Pella windowed, SubZeroed McMansion or is it in some tricked out, dubbed up, stretched Porsche Cayenne with DVD system and fully stocked bar fridge?

The urgency of an extreme makeover on the "American Dream" is long overdue. Embarrassed in Ohio, you may have wielded the first swing of the demolition crew.